It has been one of those weeks… on one hand sooo fantastic to have my girls home on school holidays, with a houseful of their friends and lots of chaos! I love it.
On the other hand the mess is similar to that of a small typhoon in each space they touch.. which I can handle because well it’s not always the case and after (excessive) requests that do put stuff away after themselves.. kinda!
My real struggle however is when everyone gets tired and unable to cope with life because of the unwritten school holidays protocol of ‘no bedtime’ .. which kind of slaps you in the face by Friday in the first week as everyone needs an extra 5hrs sleep in their day – immediately! Usually this is no biggie for me to handle – the classic overtired responses, eye rolling and stomping can be shrugged off.. (actually I’m usually at work during the school holidays – maybe that’s why it’s always been ‘no biggie’- haha)!
When this behaviour becomes a big deal is when I too am overtired and sensitive… like this week…and then oh dear! There have been a few moments 😬… One in particular involved me sobbing because I was lonely. I’ve come to realise it’s not lonely (there are/were plenty of people about), it’s isolation. I feel so isolated from all that I know and love and I have no independence. So for someone who hates to ask for help – I have to constantly ask for help. It’s a struggle!
As a result of the girls being home on holidays mum has taken the opportunity to return to live in her own house – a small transition if you like (mum is back next week while everyone is at pony club camp! And YES pony club camp is as much fun as it sounds!).
Anyway it makes sense to begin to transition, as I am much more capable of doing things now and there’s no need to disrupt Mum’s life any longer.. she has been here for 18wks living with us Mon-Fri!! I do not understimate what an enormous and selfless act of absolute love this has been. I feel eternally grateful to her for physically and mentally being here for me. I could never have survived the worst of my days without her hand on mine.
But the time has come to commence the return to semi-‘normality’ (whatever that is..). I am able to do a little more each day than I have done at all in the past four months! Everyday things we all take for granted.. like being able to prepare a meal, unpack the dishwasher, put on a load of washing and get in and out of the shower unaided (yahoo!) are all now possible!
Going hand in hand with my return to being a domestic goddess (*cough cough*) and independent adult is the commencement of my physiotherapy!
Today was my first day and I must admit I had a whole lot of expectations (I know I know I DO NOT learn!) – and I’m not sure many (if any) were met.
Actually not true – one was met. I now have a daily program of about 9 strengthening and stretching exercises that I will be doing to help me regain full movement eventually. Once again my idealistic view of the world clashes with the realist specialists! I was thinking I’d be walking sooner rather than later and that I’d have that 30degree bend gone from my knee by Christmas (Santa might bring it for me..😜).
Anyway once again I suggested to Craig (my physio) I may be a miracle stretcher and regain a full range of movement much sooner! Craig didn’t discount the possibility, but wasn’t prepared to support my theory (as I rolled my eyes like a teenager on school holidays). For an incredibly impatient woman these timeframes are killing me!
However this is all about taking it one day at a time and before I realise… it will be one ACTUAL step at a time.